Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Coming Soon

Rules and Regulations at the New York Public Library

No sexual acts. No sitting or standing idly about, sleeping, or lingering aimlessly. Mutilating, damaging, or defacing any book, map, picture, engraving, film, manuscript, cassette is prohibited. So is the use on library premises of alcohol, narcotics, or hallucinogens. No display or use of weapons. No smoking. No obscene and/or abusive language or gestures. Shoes must be worn. No playing radios; the use of portable television sets is prohibited. No cameras, typewriters, cellular telephones. Talking is permitted, but only in quiet tones and low voices. No behavior leading to the suspicion of intoxication. All briefcases, oversized handbags, notebooks, carry-alls, overcoats, luggage, packages, and shopping bags are subject to inspection by security. No soliciting staff. Infested clothing or unpleasant body odor is unacceptable. Animals are not permitted in library buildings.

-Mark Horosky
forthcoming in Let It Be Nearby